Do you know how to solve problems ? This people don’t

Finding the wrong solutions is one of my top option .

A lot of people realise after a lot of wrong attempts that they did not finded the perfect solution for their problems . But why they give-up of trying to do better next time ?

The psychologists said

Recognize that you both have different ways in which you prefer to seek and provide support and work to understand each other’s perspective.

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Perhaps they don’t yet understand that the nail is the problem. Perhaps they do, and they just need some emotional support before they will be able to do anything about it. Perhaps they believe the solution to the problem is going to cause worse pain or that it can’t actually be implemented. Take their perspective (they’re in pain and need you to soothe them), calm your own frustration, and give them what they want.

Talk with each other about the ways you like to get and give support, and come up with a mutually acceptable way that you’ll support each other.

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Once you develop and use insight into yourself, your partner, and the dilemma, then you need to commit to finding a solution that takes both people’s needs into account. You need to join together in an “us against the problem” stance rather than a “me against you” stance. All the data show that supporting one another is critical to a healthy relationship, and most people truly want to support their partner. If you do, then it’s incumbent upon you to support him or her in the way that he or she wants. And most people truly want support from their partner.

Don’t keep repeating things that don’t work.

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Couples do this all the time. They keep trying to get their needs met, or meet their partners’ needs in the same way, over and over again, when their strategies clearly are not working. It’s like, “If I just keep doing this, eventually it’s going to work” but that’s just not true. What’s worse is that they then blame their partner for it not working (“What’s wrong with you that you can’t just take my advice?! What’s wrong with you that you can’t just listen to me and understand my feelings?!”). You need to understand the consequences of your behavior and learn from them. So, stop blaming and criticizing your partner for strategies that don’t work, and stop repeating those strategies. If you know your partner prefers emotional support, then don’t just keep providing only practical support. Your partner is never going to feel like his/her needs are being met.

A.C.

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